A Quickie Divorce? Is there such a thing?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Free-Press-Release.com) October 14, 2009 -- The failure of a marriage can be down to many factors: the influence of the first relationship we experienced; the relationship of our parents; our own self-worth; a capacity to change; and when a relationship finally hits the rocks, it can feel like you’ll never find a way of moving forward.

Most couples want to put the past behind them and have the divorce dealt with as quickly as possible; but the concept of a 'quickie divorce' owes more to myth than reality. Unless your relationship is simple (i.e. short marriage, no children or joint assets), the quickest you could expect to divorce is about three months. Six weeks must elapse between the pronouncement of the decree nisi in court, and the decree absolute, and it is only in extreme circumstances that it can be shortened.

Once you involve children and finances in the process, the divorce procedure can become complicated and expensive, especially if you let your divorce turn into a soap opera. It is essential to take good legal advice and if you’re headed for divorce, Mediation can help speed up the process and allow you to talk through your problems in confidence with an independent, neutral professional.

So what are the benefits of Mediation?

A bitter and resentful divorce can seriously harm children's mental health. It is an unfortunate fact that one in four children will live through their parents' divorce before they are 16 years old, and approx 60% of fathers lose contact with their children within three years of divorcing. These factors compounded have a consequential effect and the children are less likely to succeed at school and are more likely to suffer from insecurity and anxiety.

As an alternative approach to the legal process, Mediation may not be suitable for everyone, (victims of domestic abuse for example), but where disputes arise over children and/or finances, it can save you time and money. It is not about getting back together and it is not legal advice; it is a chance to resolve issues by communicating and making joint decisions, and it can have a tremendous affect on the future of your family, demonstrating to your children that you can work things out together and that you can resolve a dispute in a sensible way.

As parents you have a responsibility to protect your children as much as possible from the damaging effects of your divorce. Mediation gives you the chance to talk together about the future of your relationship, separation or divorce, finances or issues concerning the children; and sets a good foundation for building an amicable relationship for the future. Following a free initial assessment, it normally takes in the region of four sessions to reach an agreement. These sessions can be funded by Legal Aid if you are eligible, and special appointments are available for Children.

Things to consider

What is Parental Responsibility and who has it?

Parental Responsibility refers to all the rights, responsibilities and obligations one has in bringing up a child. It refers to a person having the right to make decisions affecting the child’s welfare, such as consenting to medical treatment and where a child should be educated. A mother automatically has Parental Responsibility. A father can obtain Parental Responsibility by marrying the mother or being married to the mother when the child is born: by the mother and the father signing a Parental Responsibility Agreement: or by a Court Order. Additionally, if the child is born after 1st December 2003, providing the father’s name is on the child’s birth certificate, the father will have Parental Responsibility automatically.

Where should the Child live?

The terms “custody” and “access” are no longer used to describe where a child should live, and when it should see the absent parent. The terms “Residence” and “Contact” are now used instead. It is better for the child if parents can agree with whom the child should live and when s/he should see the absent parent. Children’s emotional reactions to a separation will depend upon their age and understanding. By taking these decisions in a calm and rational manner the stress that your child is exposed to will be minimised. It is important for your child to feel that s/he has your permission and approval to enjoy time with the other parent. It is also important that your child knows that, although you no longer love the other parent, you both love the child unconditionally.

If you and the other parent cannot agree upon this, mediation may be the way forward. If mediation is not an option, either of you may make an application to the Court. This can be costly and you both may end up having a situation imposed on you by the Judge that neither of you may be happy with.

If you are worried about the effect your divorce will have on your children, speak to a specialist family solicitor and trained mediator, or take time to explore our website. Not only will it guide you through the process of divorce, from starting proceedings to telling your children; it has a wealth of information for each member of the family and free family law fact-sheets to help the whole family deal with a divorce, separation or family dispute.

About Hartnell Chanot & Partners

Award winning Hartnell Chanot & Partners is one of the largest specialist family law practices in the UK. The firm provides specialist legal advice to people affected by a family breakdown, divorce or separation and is recognised as a leading firm in this area by independent sources. Its website www.hartnellchanot.co.uk contains a vast amount of freely available information to help families across the UK and Internationally deal with the numerous issues arising from a divorce, separation or family dispute.

More information can be found online at http://www.hartnellchanot.co.uk/family-law-articles/family-law-articles/a-quickie-divorce.html

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