For royal wedding guests of Prince William and his Kate, April 29, 2011 a list of does and don'ts, especially the latter.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States of America (Free-Press-Release.com) April 28, 2011 -- by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

. . . April 29, 2011 is a very special day in the prodigious annals of the British monarchy. H.R.H. Prince William, white hope of the dynasty, marries his Kate... and his grandmama The Sovereign is adamant that all be done just so -- or else.

Sadly, you have not been invited. . . The empire on which the sun never set is history, but protocol, the right thing done in the right way, is very much alive chez Windsor.

The Windsors are nothing if not keen on pageants that are meticulously planned and flawlessly carried out. They know that it was not always thus in royal ceremonial. One way they know this was by careful scrutiny of my first book "Insubstantial Pageant: Ceremony and Confusion at Queen Victoria's Court". (1979). I was the first American ever granted access to the Royal Archives at Windsor Castle... and it was part of the deal that The Queen and Prince Charles get advance copies to increase their knowledge of the hopeless mismanagement of ceremonies by their regal ancestors.

Confusions, muddles, and disorganizations were the order of the day. It was supremely frustrating, irritating, and inexcusable that the English made so many mistakes, even lethal, in presenting the monarchy to the nation. Ceremonies of the highest significance and importance -- coronations even -- were so lamentably organized and delivered that the English monarchy became a byword for ineptitude.

We owe improvement to Prince Albert.

Queen Victoria, only 18 when she ascended the throne in 1837 had far better things to do than worry about ceremonial derelictions. For openers she was free of the heavy thrall of the Duchess of Kent, her mother; perhaps the ultimate controlling Stage Mother of all time. The first thing the new queen did was order her bed to be taken out of the bedroom she had shared all her life with her mother... then order dinner to be served to her alone, the first time that had ever happened. She was free, free at last! She was queen, her every wish a command instantly carried out. A few glaring mistakes in court ceremonial counted for nothing.

But the German princeling she married, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha was very, very different. The insidious culture of royal errors and tolerance for same made him nervous, dyspeptic, and determined to apply Teutonic efficiency to the problem. He fumed, he fretted, he even wept at the minuscule progress. But there was progress. Just not enough of it.

As the grasping English built the largest empire ever assembled on this planet, their royal pageants continued to be notable for all the wrong reasons: they were lackadaisical about the protocol that consumed other royal houses; thereby causing endless hurt feelings. Their planning was always of the too little, too late variety. And like clockwork, security arrangements were so lax that every ceremony produced a bumper crop of dead, the victims of English inability to get it right... and without fatalities.

All this is no doubt known to Elizabeth II and the princes of her house and their constant motto is "Never again!" Thus, they are fastidious in the business of Getting It Right. When the English were a great nation, the sovereigns themselves were scarcely punctilious about such matters; but with only the shadow of empire remaining, they are all adamant that the royal ceremonies, in which they so prominently feature, be the very essence of polished perfection.

Hence the list of do's and don'ts now circulating amongst the honored guests, be they princes of the blood royal or (that democratic touch the royals are close to perfecting) personnel from the various charities patronized by the bride and groom. ...
Now to the various admonitions, politely phrased of course as suggestions, recommendations. But they are in fact royal commands and must be treated as such.

1) Don't give the queen a friendly hug....
2) Don't tweet. You are attending an historic event...
3) Be on time. On this of all days, there is no such thing as fashionably late, even by a minute. The Queen is the last person to take her place; to upstage her is lese majeste, intolerable.

4) Ladies, select an outfit that blends in. You should wear a dress -- not too short, not too skimpy, and certainly not white....
5) Leave your cellphone ...
6) Make sure you have all necessary medications with you....
7) Visit the facilities as often as necessary to ensure bladder control....

Upon reading these guidelines and rules, you may say... that you didn't really want to go to this critical event... But we're kidding ourselves, aren't we? ...

The Author

Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for home based businesses. He is also an authority expert on the royal family and author of 18 best-selling books. Republished with author's permission by Gail Kharidia http://SizzlingProfits.com .

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