he Friend Crush in some one

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(Free-Press-Release.com) January 20, 2012 -- The Friend Crush: Is This Love Or Friendship

He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. You have known each other for a few years and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. You have confided to each other about your latest love interest and turned to one another for support when the relationship(s) failed. You can't imagine life without your good friend.

But for a while....

You've felt jealous of his dates. You've been overprotective of her since she has been seeing the jerk. You've been having very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that your feelings for him/her have grown into something more? If so, your relationship may have developed into a "friend crush".

You don't know what to do. You know you want to continue spending time together- more time. But it's getting hard. You fantasize about having more with this person and are beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do you pretend everything is the same? Do you start distancing yourself- hoping your feelings will go back to the way they were? Do you actually TALK directly and honestly with your friend about how you feel?

What will happen to the relationship if you make the WRONG choice?

Just as all people are unique, so are the characteristics of their relationships with others. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this increasingly common dilemma. So, let's take a look at your options. You can:

* ignore your feelings, keep your boundaries in check and pretend everything is status quo

In order to choose this option, you must be able to deny your feelings so well that even you don't know what they are. You will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the relationship with this person that you desire. You will most likely be asked what you think of this or that person and be expected to be happy and supportive of your friend when they meet the right someone for them. In return for all this, you will still have your friend.

* begin to spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen

This option will most likely cause confusion and hurt on the part of your friend who will wonder what happened. They may be understanding and accepting of your need to spread your wings and support you in doing what you need to do. Either way, you will see less of them and your relationship can weaken and perhaps disappear altogether as they move on with new people. If you can distance yourself for a while and no longer feel the romantic butterflies, you can always give them a call and may be able to pick up somewhere near where you left off.

* continue the relationship with your own hidden agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and the hope that the person will realize that they feel the same way

If they become involved with someone else in the meantime, you can work to sabotage their new relationship or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are coming from. You can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for your efforts but the loss of a good friend.

* have an open and honest discussion with your friend regarding your new feelings for them

This is the choice that seems to be the hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from people in this position is that they fear "ruining the friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well thought out. It is emotional, not rational. Look again at the other options. Every one will bring about a change in your current friendship.

Why?

Once your feelings have changed, so does the relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and the positive dynamics that flow between good friends. You can't go back. You need to decide how you want to move forward or if this is an option for you. . It is also possible in choosing this option that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore choosing this option could result in romance and a love relationship based on true friendship.

Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is the ability to be completely open and vulnerable to another without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.

The choice will always be yours. Choosing wisely is about really knowing the options, the consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.
The Law of Attraction in Action

Would you like to be able to experience more of what brings you joy in your life? Do you have unmet wants and desires that have left you feeling unfulfilled in some areas of your life? Were you taught that it is our desires that make us unhappy? Whoever taught us that desire is a bad thing was an unempowered person!

Desire is a beautiful thing! It is desire that birthed this world, and it is desire that draws us together to create new life, both physically and metaphysically.

Imagine for a moment that you have a genie in a bottle, or a secret potion or wand that, that gives you the power to zap into being more of what you wish for. The truth is, it doesn't take a genie in a bottle, a magic wand or a secret potion, although these are fun 'reminders' of the awesome power that we hold! We are Divine Beings!

The Bible says we are made "in the image of God" and that "what we reap we sowed." This means we, like God, are creators! I've heard it said that God helps those who help themselves. We must learn how to help ourselves by co-creating, along with God, that which we desire by developing faith and applying focused thought. The best way to pray then is affirmatively, to visualize what we desire as if it is already in our experience, and to give thanks in advance, knowing that what we need and desire is available to us. To pray effectively, we pray affirmatively. A powerful prayer is one of gratitude. The more we count our blessings, the more blessings come to us. Our thoughts and prayers really do create our experiences!

Another way of saying this is to use creative visualization. Creative visualization is the technique of using our imagination to create more of what we want in life. I've heard some people say, "I can't do that, I don't visualize anything!" There is nothing woo woo about it. You are already using visualization techniques every day - every time you think about what to have for lunch or what you might want to do over the weekend, or even while remembering a special person in your life, you are using your creative imagination! Visualization is the basic creative energy of the universe, which we use constantly, whether or not we aware of it. When we aren't aware it is called creating by default. When we are setting conscious intentions, we are deliberately co-creating with God, or the Universe.

You may have heard the saying, "Thoughts are things." Our thoughts, beliefs and feelings are real! They are alive with the spiritual substance that makes up this world. Our thoughts are energized and powerful. Everything we experience in "reality" has its beginnings in the non-physical. Every thought we think is a seed and every time we think the same thought over again, we water that seed. When we think thoughts filled with emotion, we fertilize those thoughts. The more intense our desire, and the degree to which we believe it is possible, the more likely it is to come into our experience and the faster it will manifest. The law of the soil and the law of the mind are the same.

The world is filled with evidence that supports our beliefs. In other words, optimists are confirmed in their optimism, and pessimists are confirmed in their habits of thought also. An optimist expects things to work out somehow, and because they give their attention to what they do want with expectancy, this is what manifests in their experience. The pessimist, on the other hand, generally also creates what they habitually worry about. When pessimists learn how to alter their expectations and beliefs, they too can more deliberately create what they are wanting in life.

I truly believe that everything works towards our highest good, we just need to trust the Universal Laws working through us and use our experiences to expand our consciousness. Let's use the Law of Attraction to make the world a more joyful and loving place!

"If you could begin to feel appreciation for the fact that desire exists and anticipation about its unfolding, rather than disappointment that it has not manifested, your energy would clear up by 95% and your manifestations would begin to flow to you so much more easily." --Abraham-Hicks