“How to Salvage Your Marriage after an Affair?” - Counselling Couple with Affair

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Free-Press-Release.com) November 18, 2011 --

Jennifer came to seek counselling from the marriage therapist at Relate™ Centre for marital therapy of the International Psychology Centre (www.Psychology.com.my) due to her marriage break down issue. Her husband was having an affair with another woman. She felt betrayed and could not move on because there were frustration, anger and feeling of hurt. One of the main problems they were having was communication issue. They always got into arguments when both of them had different point of views. Eventually, she and her husband decided to consult a couple therapist to find a way to salvage their relationship.

Affairs can be exhilarating, exciting, passionate and romantic. They can also be damaging, destructive, painful, time-wasting and humiliating. In fact, people often did not think of the consequences before they move the first step. They enjoy the spark that have at the first sight and then get into trouble when more companionship is demanded. Most of the time affair hurts all the parties that involved including the child.

Affairs are symptoms of relationship problem rather than the cause of the problem

When your spouse seeking an affair, this could indicate the underline symptoms of underdeveloped relationship and there are some unmet needs. Therefore, he or she is seeking someone outside to meet the needs that are not fulfilled. This could be seen in a positive way that the person having the affair wants to take this opportunity to develop and improve the relationship between his/her spouse. Do appreciate the third party in giving you a hint to acknowledge the underdeveloped parts and the unmet needs between you and your partner.

Tips to salvage your marriage
• There is always an unmet need behind a criticism. It is better to transform a criticism into a positive request, for example, instead of saying: “Why don’t you come home early?” you shall frame it into a request: “I need you to come home early please.”
• Understand that every human is unique. People are often attracted by another person who has different personality from them. Therefore there are always chances to learn from each other and grow together in a relationship.

• You may want to stretch yourself to meet your partner needs and vice versa. However, never pressure them to become the person that you want them to be.
• Forgive the third party that entered your marriage, because he/she is part of the victim as well. Do thank him/her for giving the opportunity to acknowledge the underline symptoms in your marriage that you may want to work on and develop a stronger relationship.

Be positive and open minded all the time. At the end of the day, even if both of you end up in a different path, you may still move on your life to meet a more suitable person to be your partner.

It could be a tough time to recover but it is possible to make things better. Please consult a professional psychologist and marital/couple therapist.
At IPC, thousand of couples had their relationship improved and grew closer together with the help of professional psychologist and marital therapist as a result of affairs.

For more information, please visit our website at www.Psychology.com.my.