I actually became terrified of being with her

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Cornelius, North Carolina, United States of America (Free-Press-Release.com) February 9, 2012 -- Becky may have believed she was emotionally prepared for motherhood, but she wasn’t.
‘So many mothers have idealised expectations about how they are going to feel and it is very difficult when reality does not match them,’ says Dr Woolfson.
As Dr Lewis points out: ‘A relationship with a child can grow over time. Initial difficulties in bonding are not predictive of a toms shoes sale future relationship with your child.’

The novelist Fay Weldon once quipped that the greatest advantage of not having children is that you can go on believing you’re a nice person. ‘Once you have children,’ she said, ‘you realise how wars start.’
Such painful truths are more palatably expressed through humour: no one finds it easy to accept mothers are capable of loathing their children as much as loving them.
For full-time mum Becky Bohan, 32, the arrival of her first child, Jessica, 14 months ago prompted not the expected idyll of mother-and-child contentment, but overwhelming inadequacy and fear.
Becky, who is married to Kyron, 41, an installation company supervisor, and lives in Royston, Hertfordshire, says her problems began as soon as Jessica was born.

‘I felt bewildered and lost. I remember looking down at her and thinking: “Oh my goodness, what do I do now?” Breastfeeding was the most toms sale horrendous experience. I couldn’t get her to latch on and my breasts were so sore. I began to dread her waking up. I actually became terrified of being with her.
‘I felt like the most unnatural mother in the world. I was just so overwhelmed and I couldn’t cope. I spent every evening in tears, thinking: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I bond with this baby?”
‘I’d prepared so much for the birth, but the reality made me feel like an utter failure. I dreaded holding her or cuddling her because I felt so lost. I’d been used to being a success in my life. I was really good at my job, so why couldn’t I do this?’

To compound her feelings of inadequacy, Becky had been in control in her high-powered job, but felt defeated by her new role as a mother.
‘It’s very common that a woman who has held a responsible job and done it well feels like this,’ comments Dr Woolfson. ‘This small bundle is dominating her. She feels trapped. It’s a huge reversal of roles.
‘You think: “I should be able to cope; it’s just a tiny baby. I’m struggling with something so easy.” But the key is not to back away from a task because it makes it more of a challenge.
‘You have to recognise that you don’t have to be the most perfect mother in the world and just accept that Women Classic Toms you have L-plates on.’

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