In praise of younger men

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Free-Press-Release.com) July 29, 2010 -- There are cougar conventions in America and England, speed dating sessions aimed specifically at older women and younger men, experts who'll coach women on how to go after young cubs, websites such as gocougar and toyboywarehouse cashing in until the next trend comes along.

The trend shows no signs of reversing. Cougar (older woman chasing younger men), cub (their youthful prey), puma (women in their 30s chasing younger men) and manther (the male version of cougar) are all in common usage.

So what does it take to be a real cougar? Is it possible to want to date younger men without having the predatory label affixed? We've been laughing at sugar daddies for years, why has the cougar trend taken off now?

The essential cougar is a financially independent, attractive, confident woman who looks younger than her years and actively seeks out younger men to date.

The real cougar is not desperate, she just knows what she wants and how to get it. There 's a wildness of heart about her, she's unconventional. She may be a long-term singleton or just emerging from a lengthy marriage. Attracting men, whatever their age, comes naturally to her. She really can't see what all the fuss is about: she prefers younger men, end of story.

Many women claim cougarism is an empowering role reversal for women, a chance to say, "well actually, we're over 40 and we look great, we have money to spend on our looks and we don't find men our own age that interesting. Younger men are more open, less controlling, less intimidated by our financial success and will do anything to please us in bed".

"A lot of our female role models are now older," says life coach and 'expert in younger love', Lisa Sangha. "There are also more divorcees over the age of 40 looking to date again. They may have come out of a long marriage and realised they just want something different. Dating younger men isn't a fad, it's becoming the norm."

Londoner Lisa (40) dated a 17-year-old London-Irish boy in 2008, a relationship that some would consider exploitative. "He was a friend of my neighbours and we dated for three months," she says. "It didn't come down to his age, there was just an incredible chemistry between us. I couldn't have dated any of his friends, they were spotty teenagers with nothing to say but he was more mature. He did sometimes do age-relevant things, like getting used to me paying for everything, never having credit on his phone and expecting me to always call him.

"Part of the fun of it for me was knowing I was doing something that many people couldn't or wouldn't do. It wasn't very serious but I enjoyed it. For him, there was a big adrenalin rush, he was just so delighted to be with me, he was always telling me I was beautiful and asking why I was interested in him. He kind of fell in love with me but I was going to America to work so we stopped seeing each other and he subsequently met a girl his own age. We remained friends afterwards.

"Cougars have come out of that generation of women who feverishly use plastic surgery, personal trainers, botox, cosmetic dental surgery and whatever it takes to stay looking young. The cougar trend taps into women's worst fears about getting older, losing their sexual power and being undesirable, of being that desperate woman nearing the end of her reproductive years. As a result, many women find it offensive. The cougar trend is almost endemic in places like LA and Miami".

Lisa, who set up the website www.Kisscougar .com, argues that the cougar term is moving away from the image of predatory older women. "Younger men are now driving the trend," she says. "In a sense, the cougars are being hunted. There are five times more young men on sites than older women and I get so many emails from them asking 'where can I meet these older women, I want to date them'."

"Not every woman can be a cougar," continues Lisa. "Some women have the natural capacity to attract younger men. A lot of women in their 40s get younger guys coming on to them and they find it weird. On the other hand, there are cougars who won't date men over the age of 25.

"The cougar term is one that can raise eyebrows and evoke a sniggering response but cougars tend to be women who don't pay much attention to what others think of them anyway. For me, it's about women having a choice and turning things on their head. I'm not saying objectify younger men for sex, that would just be women doing what some men have done to them for years.

"Things do go wrong. I don't advise women to jump into bed with the first 21-year-old that comes along. Where there's a big age gap and things progress to a longer term relationship, the issue of babies can become a worry. Some people argue that younger men may be willing to date older women but that as they hit 40, they switch back to wanting a younger woman to have babies with. So a relationship with a big age gap is unlikely to last 15 or 20 years. There's also the theory that being in a relati

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