Judgments Can Hurt One's Recovery

March 05,2013

There is, to quote an old saying, œmore than one way to skin a cat. That means that there may be many paths that lead to a destination.

œThose people don't work their program. They don't believe their words, and they won't succeed.

What happens when we make judgments about others? We affirm, in our own minds, what is right and what is wrong, whether it concerns someone's life or rehab program”but in judging, we really haven't done anything that might help them, or ourselves; this is because we don't know everything about them or their situation, and most importantly, we aren't in control of their life anyway. Heck, we are barely in control of our own!

What happens when others make judgments about us? Don't we get annoyed, asking how they dare to make judgments about what we do? Unless they are our best friends, and often even not then, we don't want others telling us what is right and wrong. We feel what we are doing is right; otherwise we wouldn't be doing it. And while that may be incorrect, what gives another the right to make that judgment? Drug and alcohol addiction treatment is one of those things that requires understanding, and not critical judgment“what good will that do?

Tolerance and respect of others is essential to accepting them as they are. Tattoos, piercings, weird haircuts, peacock colors, these are things that may offend some people, but determining the quality of a person by these physical signs of individuality may not be fair. In fact, I know many doctors and lawyers with many piercings and tattoos, you just don't see them because they have covered up their tattoos, or removed their piercings during work. But these are things which can easily be termed taboo and addressed accordingly, or, they may be something that addresses deep-rooted issues in their lives, present or past. Once more, who are we to judge?

Judging a person, by anything other than their words and actions, is to diminish their true worth. Acceptance doesn't mean you have to like it; acceptance means allowing others to live according to their own standards, and not yours. Acceptance means to live and let live. Give others the right to find their own path. Just because their path isn't the same as yours doesn't mean it's wrong.

Many of us have control issues (ya think?), and find that another person's way is automatically wrong. But there is, to quote an old saying, œmore than one way to skin a cat. That means that there may be many paths that lead to a destination. Sure, some may be longer, others slower, some covered in rocks and brush, and some covered in water. But the choice to select a different route, or even a different destination, isn't yours to make for another person. It IS yours to make for you, within the boundaries of societal law.

I have found in my personal journeys that I don't always agree with where a person is going. I may not agree with the route they are following. And even when those people are my children, I have to respect their right to make mistakes. I don't know where those mistakes will lead them. Maybe I could be making the mistake this time. Perhaps they have to fall in order to stand up tall and straight. I don't know. Perhaps they must be scared of the dark in order to explore the darkness in the light. Maybe they need to face their fears in ways I can't imagine. But I am me, I am not them. I can choose only for me, I can share thoughts with them, but the choice is theirs. It's not mine to judge. My job is to make sure I detox, get through the withdrawal stage, and rediscover my life once more.

Today, I am choosing to stand back, make suggestions I find reasonable, and then let it go. I won't judge them on their acceptance of my ways, or the choices of theirs. I will love them without reservation, and live my own life, subject to judging only myself.

How wonderful and free that makes me feel.

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When a person suffers from a severe case of drug or alcohol addiction, the best method of treatment is seeking professional help at an addiction treatment facility. Licensed therapists and counselors are trained to conduct effective treatment for various kinds of addictions, as well as mental health issues and those suffering from psychological distress.

For additional information on drug abuse and addiction treatment services:

Florida Center for Recovery “ Addiction Treatment Center: 1-800-960-5041

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Florida Center for Recovery

800-960-5041

MARK KILLAR

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