What does an addict need to do every day to ensure they don't attempt to find sobriety? If you guessed œlie to themselves and others, you'd be correct. Self-deception makes everything alright¦well, at least in one's own head. If addicts were more realistic in general, they would discover the folly of their thoughts; however, realistic viewpoints don't fit their needs, so they create a reality they can live with while making the choices they do.
There are many fallacies that addicts use. Let's take a look at how they deal with others in what they say, while lying to themselves:
œYou did it, you do it, so why can't I? Most often, these words accompany attempts to rationalize drinking, smoking marijuana, or sex. Many parents, hearing the words, are not able to argue their past behaviors without lying, so they rationalize their permissive behaviors by acknowledging the truth in them. Unfortunately, past behavior is not justification for poor choices today.
œIf they do something wrong, then it's okay for me to do something to them. A perfect example is a person who steals from Wal-Mart, justifying their actions by saying that Wal-Mart is responsible for stealing business from mom and pop stores and putting them out of business. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Ignoring the argument or logic, the debater will diminish your argument by attacking you on a personal level. They may respond by saying something as simple as, œI don't need to listen to you. You've never used drugs, or œyou didn't finish high school, what do you know anyway? There is a term which is used to describe this type of attack concisely, Ad Hominem.
Another approach to ignoring reality is to say that œEveryone does it. This group seldom holds weight, except to the speaker of the mistruth. œEveryone else is going to the movies with a date, why can't I? is a question too many parents have heard before. Addicts use the same thought, modified to fit their needs.
Making others feel sorry for them, an addict can use their addiction as the reason to not get sober, the reason for not having a job, or for laying in bed all day. Being empathetic, we lower our defenses and stand back while they do their business.
They feel they deserve to do what they want because they've had a tough life. They feel entitled.
There are patterns that seem to be consistent with almost every addict. The examples above are typical, as are manipulation and misdirection. Learning what addicts do is a big part of learning how to not enable them.
When we learn to recognize the fallacies, we will begin to help an addict find recovery. Lend a helping hand today by standing back, and ceasing to believe things that aren't true. As I was once told by a recovering addict, œIf you think it's true, trust your gut. Great advice!
If you have any questions or concerns about finding the right drug rehab for you or your loved one, then please call“ counselors are standing by for free consultation. And for any information regarding prescription drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or addiction recovery and treatment services, you may reach us at:
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