Love is not a product,we need to churish it by heart

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(Free-Press-Release.com) November 26, 2011 --

A reader apparently bruised by some personal experience,writes in tocomplain,"If I steal a nickel's worth of merchan-dise,I am a thief and punished;but if I steal the love of an-other's wife,I am free." This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds--that love,like merchandise,can be"stolen."But love is not a commodity;the real thing cannot be bought,sold,traded or stolen.It is an act of the will,a turning of the emotions,a change in the climate of the personality.When a husband or wife is"stolen"by another person,that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing,was al-ready predisposed toward a new partner.The"lovebandit"was only taking what was waiting to be taken,what wanted to be taken.

We tend to treat persons like goods．We even speak of children"belonging"to their parents.But nobody"belongs"to anyone else.Each person belongs to himself.Children are en-trusted to their parents,and if their parents do not treat them properly，the state has a right to remove them from theirpar-ents'trusteeship. Most of us,when young,had the experience of a sweet-heart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing.At the time,we may have resented this in truder--but as we grew older,we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with.It was not the intruder that"caused"the break,but the lack of a real relationship.

On the surface,many marriages seem to break up because of a"third party."This is，however,a psycholog-ical illusion.The other woman or the other manmerely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had al-ready lost its essential integrity.Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love,the vengeful feeling that someone else has"come between"oneself and a beloved.This is always a distortion of reality,for people are not the captives or victims of others--they are free agents,worki ng out their own destinies for good or for ill. But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to be-lieve that his beloved has freely turned away from him--and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper.He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker.In the vast majority of cases,however,when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any"third party"has appeared on the scene.

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