Michael Bacolas and Tips on Building a Healthy Relationship

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(Free-Press-Release.com) March 16, 2010 -- Michael Bacolas and Tips on Building a Healthy Relationship

Whether it is a relationship among brothers and sisters, or building new friendships, relationships are a very fragile things. How you build them up is completely up to you. From experience with having good, and bad, relationships, Michael Bacolas has provided a few tips that can help your current and future relationships to come.

1. Michael Bacolas: Speak a little less, listen a little more

Most people get pleasure from speaking about themselves, and what they’ve accomplished in their lives. But, here we have to be careful; if we always speak about our achievements or tribulations, people will get fed up with our egoism, and may not want to talk to you very often.

If we are truly willing and able to listen to others, we will find that are friends really appreciate it. Some people are not aware of how much they dominate the conversation. If you find you are always talking about yourself, consider the advice of the Greek philosopher, Epictectus:
“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

2. Michael Bacolas: Which is more important being right or keeping the peace?

A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our own personal pride. It’s important you don’t insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance anyway.

3. Michael Bacolas: Avoid Gossip

If we value someone’s friendship we will not take pleasure in commenting on their frequent failings. They will eventually hear about it. But, whether we get found out or not, we weaken our relationships when we dwell on negative qualities, which is something a lot of people tend to do. Avoid gossiping about anybody; subconsciously we don’t trust people who have a reputation for gossip, more often we instinctively trust and value people who don’t feel the need to criticize others.

4. Michael Bacolas: Having Forgiveness and Humor

Forgiveness is not just a cliché, it’s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships. Real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience all together. If we forgive one day, but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real forgiveness. Also, when we make mistakes, just consider how much we would appreciate others forgiving and forgetting. Forgive and forget.

Try not to take yourself too seriously. You have to be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, it just means we let go of our ego. Humor is often the best antidote for relieving tense situations.

5. Michael Bacolas: Concern and Detachment

One of the most important factors to a good relationship is detachment. Healthy relationships should be built on a degree of detachment. Here, people often make a mistake; they think that being detached means, “not caring”. However, this is not the case. Often when we develop a very strong attachment we expect the person to behave in a certain way. When they don’t we feel miserable and try to change them. A good friendship based on detachment means we will always offer good will, but we will not be upset if they wish to go a different way.

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