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Rockford CSI Adds Forensic Poetry Department

March 13,2013


A press release in support of the poem "Rockford CSI" by Thomas L. Vaultonburg

Rockford CSI Adds Forensic Poetry Department

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Thomas L. Vaultonburg wants you to know why he wrote the poem "Rockford CSI."

I find the current mania for shows where brilliant mentalists use their powers of observation to solve crimes and use all kinds of groovy gadgets to dissect crime scenes and eviscerate criminals until they confess. I find it interesting because the amount of murders that are solved and someone convicted has fallen steadily since the 1960's. Maybe the rash of shows is just wish fulfillment. People wish someone was smart enough to know what was going on and cared enough about their job to actually investigate when things went wrong.

Rockford CSI

An ant crawled

Into the bottle of Grolsch

I left on the counter last night

And drowned like an American

Tourist in a Dutch brothel.

I notified the Coroner's Office

And they have deemed it

Death by misadventure

Though no one is sure

Who to notify.

I used to enjoy Grolsch more than Heineken for a while. But they're rather fungible to me at this point.



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Zombie Logic Review

Thomas L. Vaultonburg

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