The Hunt for Santa With Ted Burns: Day 25

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Free-Press-Release.com) December 25, 2011 -- Ted Burns, voted the UK’s best investigative journalist of 2011 by a select group of leading hacks (all one of which, by the by, had the initials TB), has reached a personal nadir. And that’s really saying something for a man banned from 58 shopping centres, 394 petrol stations and every single NCP car park in the UK. That was a bad night.

But this time, the source of Ted’s despair lies in his failure to find Santa Claus – the reindeer neglecting, traffic warden goading, elves-as-sporting-equipment-using Nativity Nutjob – before December 25th. Every interview, every false accusation, every use of the words “Shut It”, every ransacked department store grotto, every extra-large hammer: all wasted, all for nothing, all, ultimately, of no more value than the festive televisual programming schedule.

Only a miracle can save him now. And once you’ve committed to hunting down Santa, the Sage & Onion Sociopath, you probably have to admit that a miracle isn’t going to be the most likely gift arriving down the chimney this year. But listen. What’s that sound?

Could it be a very small medieval knight in wafer-thin chainmail doing some base jumping just outside Ted’s flat? Wait. Hang on. It couldn’t be sleigh bells, could it? And is that the noise of soft footsteps coming up the stairs? The steps, no doubt, of a featherweight boxer in novelty slippers shaped roughly like Frank Bruno? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the steps of a beautiful woman. The woman of Ted’s dreams. A woman who knows how to whittle friezes of popular boy bands from balsa wood using only a turkey baster…

But the last time Ted got that lucky was when his opponent in the Romney-on-the-Wold Under-9s All-Invitational Amateur Judo Tournament had a violent asthma attack half way through their first-round bout and took an awful beating as a result.

To find out whether Santa has shown Ted the true meaning of Christmas, go to:

http://www.youtube.com/tedburnsofficial

To read an article about Ted’s hunt from the Metro, click here:

http://www.metro.co.uk/film/885677-santa-hunt-day-viral-spoof-series-shows-santa-as-a-fugitive-on-the-run

Send in your sightings / tips and advice via Twitter and Facebook

http://www.twitter.com/ted_burns
http://www.facebook.com/tedburnsofficial

About Keen City

Keen City’s name is derived from a verse in the poem The Moon’s A Balloon by E.E. Cummings, which talks about a place full of pretty people, where everyone is in love and flowers pick themselves. The company is, however, based in London, which falls short of this description in at least a couple of ways. Possibly more. Especially when you’re on the Tube. Nasty business.

The company’s first short film, Alleyman, won the British Lion Award for Achievement at the British Independent Film Awards, 2011, and received an honourable mention at this year’s Los Angeles Independent Film Festival. Another short, Darkest Before Dawn, premiered at the Cannes Short Film Corner in May 2011. A project of similar length, The Tyrant’s Cup, is currently in post-production, and Keen City’s first feature film, The Cult, is currently at the financing stage. The Keen City team is also working on a number of exciting television projects. Stay tuned.

For more information and general enquiries, please email info@keencity.com or visit www.keencity.com.

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