Wolfgang Moneypenny For London Mayorn 2012

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Free-Press-Release.com) January 26, 2012 -- New London mayor candidate was quoted today (Wednesday) roaring, "I am Wolfgang Moneypenny, a candidate to become the next mayor of London. I offer something dramatically new and different, in that I have grown to hate this city – and I plan to take it back. My London will not be the plaything for a global elite and a DIY project for a handful of upwardly mobile gentrifiers, but a series of protected authentic communities, an allotment of heterodox non-capitalistic concrete consumption."

He continued, "We live in a brutally redeveloping city with social cleansing levels the BNP or EDL could only dream of. Look at yourself in the mirror, London! You are sick, and I’m offering myself as the cure."

Barely pausing for breath, he added, "I am proudly transpontine, and I shall defend what is rightfully mine with as much luridity and melodrama as I see fit. Polite society, consider this a warning."

Moneypenny, or "Wolfie" as his fellow South Londoners affectionately call him, has the following manifesto commitments:
1) City Hall to work with squatters to utilize London’s empty buildings as homes and creative spaces.
2) Disband the Metropolitan Police. Replace with a force made up of real Londoners rather than bumpkin careerists.

3) Hold a referendum on a huge non-central transport public works scheme.
4) Enter into immediate renegotiations with the IOC regarding the 2012 Olympics.
5) Rip up The London Plan. Protect inner-city Londoners from the displacement euphemistically termed “urban renaissance”.
6) Fund re-education program to finally rid the city of its anti-South London prejudices.
7) Fight uneven geographic development by breaking London up into smaller urban spaces, i.e. by the building of a Thames Wall.

His campaign will feature:
1) Soapbox Speeches, leafletting, postering and all the other electioneering classics.

2) Hijacking of my rival’s campaign events (a tactic trialled successfully at a Lib Dem event in 2010).
3) Art-vandalism.
4) Temporary occupations.
5) Social media presence.

An online press pack is available here: http://freesouthlondon.wordpress.com/london-mayor-2012-campaign-press-pack/

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