In embarrassing announcement, Suxco.com retracts its position on making good on its promise to bring its peculiar version of the internet to the masses.
February 17, 2004 (Press Release) --
Suxco.com announced today that its last announcement should have never been announced. In a move that has many industry insiders scratching their heads, Suxco representatives are retracting their former position on the status of the company.
“Even though Suxco executives are still unavailable for comment, I would like to say this,” said alleged Suxco executive David Sorbrows. “While formerly we may have believed that Suxco was uniquely positioned to take advantage of the gaping hole left in the marketplace by our previous absence, we currently are not as sure as we were before.”
“I used to be so excited that Suxco.com’s products were finally being delivered to meet the rising consumer demand for their delivery,” said an employee of Breadwig.com, Suxco’s sister organization. “But now, I’m wondering if Suxco’s creatives and developers really were the experts in enhancement globalization we all thought they were.”
Suxco’s latest bid to attract traffic to their website through press release retraction is being hailed as the next step in the company’s development.
About Suxco.com™
Suxco.com has been providing products, if not services, since the time of this press release. The company was founded upon one simple and profound principle: Somewhere, there's someone, who thinks something sucks. The flexible, laser-like focus of this mission statement enables Suxco to maximize customer satisfaction through short term longevity.
For further information: Please contact Suxco.com's media interface coordinator at mediainterfacecoordinator@suxco.com or visit http://www.suxco.com at your earliest convenience.
“Even though Suxco executives are still unavailable for comment, I would like to say this,” said alleged Suxco executive David Sorbrows. “While formerly we may have believed that Suxco was uniquely positioned to take advantage of the gaping hole left in the marketplace by our previous absence, we currently are not as sure as we were before.”
“I used to be so excited that Suxco.com’s products were finally being delivered to meet the rising consumer demand for their delivery,” said an employee of Breadwig.com, Suxco’s sister organization. “But now, I’m wondering if Suxco’s creatives and developers really were the experts in enhancement globalization we all thought they were.”
Suxco’s latest bid to attract traffic to their website through press release retraction is being hailed as the next step in the company’s development.
About Suxco.com™
Suxco.com has been providing products, if not services, since the time of this press release. The company was founded upon one simple and profound principle: Somewhere, there's someone, who thinks something sucks. The flexible, laser-like focus of this mission statement enables Suxco to maximize customer satisfaction through short term longevity.
For further information: Please contact Suxco.com's media interface coordinator at mediainterfacecoordinator@suxco.com or visit http://www.suxco.com at your earliest convenience.
Email
Print
SPAM
