"Jamaica, Jamaica, ooh why don't ya send me to Jamaica, Jamaica, come on, send this pretty mama to Jamaica, Jamaica, why don't you help me go, to Jamaica!"
March 8, 2005 (Press Release) --
So there I was sitting in my room one night contemplating how I was ever going to make it to my friend's wedding in Jamaica. It has always been on my mind to visit the Caribbean, but luck would have it that I was never able to make my way there. As a recent college graduate (Information Systems major w/ minor in Business) I have not been on a vacation yet, and let me just tell you after 4 long years of intense studying, I think a trip to Negril is well due.
So why should you sponsor a $5,000 trip to Jamaica for a person you do not even know? Well, for many reasons. 1. This is an educational trip, and don't you want to help me expand my knowledge of white sands, and blue beaches? I mean, there is so much I want to learn; How to build the world's largest sand castle, the mechanics involved in swimming faster than sharks while scuba diving 2. I graduated college in December and so think of this as a belated graduation gift. From you, to me...
So what am I offering the wonderful person who sends me to Jamaica? Well, besides endless gratitude, and the possibility of tattooing your name on my arm (no, I'm just kidding!!!) I have developed the following available "Thanks for Sending me to Jamaica" Prizes:
1. I will bake you an all-you-can-eat buffet of your favorite cookies. Chocolate chip, peanut butter...chewy or "so close to being burnt I can taste it" (my specialty)!
2. I will act as your very own...get ready for this...Instant Messenger Liaison! You can sit back and relax while I converse with people you did not want to chat with anyway, all the while them not knowing it isn't even you! Genius...Genius!!
3. I will put on a concert of 5 of my most favorite songs (listed below) via your chosen method (i.e. phone, teleconference, Orange Bowl stadium...) This even includes 5 outfit changes (JLo Inspired)
1. "Holiday" ~ Madonna
2. "I Love Rock n' Roll" ~ Britney Spears adapted version!
3. "You're the One That I Want" ~ John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
4. "Save the Best for Last" ~ Vanessa Williams
5. "Girl's Just Want to Have Fun" ~ Cyndi Lauper
4. I will be your very own personal alarm clock. Every morning at a time you specify, I will call and wake you up with my personal favorite...
"Carpe Diem! Carpe Diem! Carpe Dieeeeeem!"
5. A. For all you computer buffs out there we can tell various jokes involving cout statements and iostreams. Seriously...
B. Or for all you business owners, corporate moguls alike, I will sit and impress you with my business lingo by using power business words such as "customer base" and "price points." I can even help write your speech for your next BODs meeting, here's a sample:
"I would now like to discuss ways to improve our business processes. The escalation of commitment for our new 30-story corporate office is too great and we now must set creative short and long-term goals to obtain the extra fifty million we need to fund its construction. These new ideas must carry with them the promise of a high ROI."
Sounds totally fantastic right? Call Me!
So why should you sponsor a $5,000 trip to Jamaica for a person you do not even know? Well, for many reasons. 1. This is an educational trip, and don't you want to help me expand my knowledge of white sands, and blue beaches? I mean, there is so much I want to learn; How to build the world's largest sand castle, the mechanics involved in swimming faster than sharks while scuba diving 2. I graduated college in December and so think of this as a belated graduation gift. From you, to me...
So what am I offering the wonderful person who sends me to Jamaica? Well, besides endless gratitude, and the possibility of tattooing your name on my arm (no, I'm just kidding!!!) I have developed the following available "Thanks for Sending me to Jamaica" Prizes:
1. I will bake you an all-you-can-eat buffet of your favorite cookies. Chocolate chip, peanut butter...chewy or "so close to being burnt I can taste it" (my specialty)!
2. I will act as your very own...get ready for this...Instant Messenger Liaison! You can sit back and relax while I converse with people you did not want to chat with anyway, all the while them not knowing it isn't even you! Genius...Genius!!
3. I will put on a concert of 5 of my most favorite songs (listed below) via your chosen method (i.e. phone, teleconference, Orange Bowl stadium...) This even includes 5 outfit changes (JLo Inspired)
1. "Holiday" ~ Madonna
2. "I Love Rock n' Roll" ~ Britney Spears adapted version!
3. "You're the One That I Want" ~ John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
4. "Save the Best for Last" ~ Vanessa Williams
5. "Girl's Just Want to Have Fun" ~ Cyndi Lauper
4. I will be your very own personal alarm clock. Every morning at a time you specify, I will call and wake you up with my personal favorite...
"Carpe Diem! Carpe Diem! Carpe Dieeeeeem!"
5. A. For all you computer buffs out there we can tell various jokes involving cout statements and iostreams. Seriously...
B. Or for all you business owners, corporate moguls alike, I will sit and impress you with my business lingo by using power business words such as "customer base" and "price points." I can even help write your speech for your next BODs meeting, here's a sample:
"I would now like to discuss ways to improve our business processes. The escalation of commitment for our new 30-story corporate office is too great and we now must set creative short and long-term goals to obtain the extra fifty million we need to fund its construction. These new ideas must carry with them the promise of a high ROI."
Sounds totally fantastic right? Call Me!
Email
Print
SPAM
LEAVE A COMMENT
