Female Gulf War Veteran Needs Help

March 28, 2005 (Press Release) -- I do't Know where to even begin to explain how I feel inside. All I know the hurt I feel inside runs deep into my soul. All I have left is my pride and unforgettable moments when I was happy when "I Was Somebody". Each and everyday I suffer I feel like I am struggling for my life. I have so, much inside my head right now and it is tearing me apart. I don't no what to say or do. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. When Life was my own. Sometimes I feel like don't exist that someone is playing a very cruel joke that will never end. The way I feel and these things that is happening to me in my life right now. I feel so betrayed by the miliarty and alot of these government and state and non profit agencies. I have been asking for help for years and my issues is getting worst. The only thing I can say that I thank god for each and evcryday for the Veteran hospital. They treat me with repect and provide me with great care. Please listen to me at first I said to myself "God is testing me" and "Sometimes God will put you through trails and Tribulations " and they say "God will not gave you no more than you can handle." I pray everyday in hope that things will get better for me and someone will help me out of my sitution. I feel ashame and empty and alone. I look at my reflection in the mirror I have no idea who that person is but I can tell you this much I am 100% disable with 16 diesgnose I try very hard to live a normal. But when I ask for help I donot meet whatever, but if your lazy and don't want to work or a drug addict, mental ill and the list go on. you can get help but for somone that spent time 16 years in the Miliarty and was willing to die to keep this country safe we get nothing. I have had to rob Paul to pay Peter.I can not get a personal grant from anyone. But each day I watch TV and see all the money that is spent on bull shit. If I can not get a personal grant I am willing to pay it back to get out of this mess I am in. They say they gave money to only non-profit agencies only no personal grants but none of them will grant me anything because of my income range. there are different levels of poor, middle class and some things you my have over the provety level but things happen and things seveal things has happen to me that was unforseen. But they don't care about that at all. I have no family to help me. I am looking for someone with a big heart and that beleive in me. I have a excellent military record, I was awarded the bronze Star for my work in during the Gulf War and about 50 other awards for my time in the Army. past history of years of Red Cross work, I have a 4 year BA degree, medical assistant, All I want is a "Peace of Mind" I feel like the life have been suched out of me I lost me and I want me back I am 47 going on 48 have been a single parent without child support. I just have one thing else to say I was reading article from "Essence "We'e Got The Power %) Women Who are Shaping the World" I cry my name and my picture should be on that list. I did so much in Life that I am proud of. What about me the soldier.