OVERSCHEDULED? OVERWHELMED? 5 STEPS TO HARNESS THE POWER OF NO AND TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Free-Press-Release.com) March 12, 2007 -- For Immediate Release
For more information or an interview, contact: newman@susannewmanphd.com

If you�re like most people, when someone asks for help, you say yes when you really mean NO. Within seconds you feel stressed, anxious, or angry with yourself or with the person who is taking advantage of your good nature and inability to refuse them.

Saying NO is a learned skill that transforms how you think about requests, puts an end to excessive people-pleasing, and gets you off the yes-treadmill.

The five steps below from The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It�and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever by Susan Newman, Ph.D. will hone your ability to turn people down and take back your life. As soon as you begin to apply them, you will start to feel justified saying NO and will be able to do so without offending and without feeling guilty. You won�t be able to say NO to everything asked of you, nor will you want to, but you don�t have to be an ever-accommodating yes-person to be loved, respected, and admired. And, possibly for the first time in years, you�ll stop feeling over-extended and exhausted.

Stepping into NO�The Basics

1. Make a list of your yeses over the period of a week
If you are an inveterate yes-person, the number will shock you. The acceptable number will be different for everyone. One request could send you into a tailspin, while it might take four or more to set off someone else. The real gauge is how pressured, tight for time, or resentful you feel. Any negative reaction�Why did I agree? What was I thinking?�is the true measure.
2. Pay attention to how you parcel out your time.

If most of your time is monopolized by others? If family, friends, or job demands are high, what�s left over for your own enjoyment? When your time is well managed, you�ll keep some in reserve for what�s most important to you.
3. Get your priorities straight.
Who has first crack at you without your feeling burdened or anxious? A child? A boyfriend? A girlfriend? Your spouse? Your boss?
4. Know your limits�start to define them if you don�t know what they are.

They can be emotional or physical or both, but there�s a point at which your line is crossed. How much of other people�s problems or tasks can you tolerate without feeling drained? How long are you willing to put up with one-way relationships with you always on the giving end? To stay healthy your body and mind require rest to rejuvenate, and if you don�t set limits you won�t get it.
5. Give control to others to ease your responsibilities.
When you don�t trust others to be in charge or to get things accomplished, you wind up agreeing to and doing far more than your share of what someone else could be doing. Eliminating the need to run things yourself to be sure they turn out the way you like them relieves much of the pressure you put on yourself.

Begin Flexing Your NO Muscle

Following these steps will help you exercise your right to say NO and strengthen your boundaries against the barrage of unwanted distractions and commitments. You�ll begin to think NO, before you blurt out, �Yes, sure, no problem; I�ll do that for you.� For specific scenarios and the words to say that get you to NO with friends, partner, children, office colleagues or boss, go to: www.thebookofno.com

More information can be found online at http://www.susannewmanphd.com

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